Have you ever had to defend yourself? Maybe an action or some decision you made that someone took offense to or reacted to negatively? It happens to everyone and it happens often. What can you do whenever you are called upon to give a defense of yourself? In reality, there is very little that can be done. If politicians, athletes, and ordinary folks like you and me would learn to tell the truth when it helps and remain quite when it helps, then situations would be much better.
Anyone who is accused of anything he/she did or did not do is often the recipient of someone else’s anger or agenda. When we do wrong or are wrongly accused then a situation arises that either threatens us, threatens someone else or provides an opportunity for someone else to take advantage of the situation for their own benefit.
We live in world where people who encounter difficulty are taught, coached, or led to “spin” their words so as not to confirm or deny anything. There are “spin doctors” who make a good livings from the misfortunes of others. In the end, however, when the truth comes out (and it will) then what has been said or not said usually creates another crisis of integrity that is often worse than the original one.
We live in a time when we have replaced important words with dangerous one reflecting ideas about ourselves and others that just don’t work. For example: “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Translated: “I didn’t think I would be found out.” The right statement would be: “I am wrong and I was wrong when I did it. I regret that I hurt others.”
We now live in a world that substitutes character for personality, virtues for values, and shame for guilt. It may seem okay but in the end it is who we really are and what we really do that really makes a difference. There is no substitute for truth and integrity.
I was once told the following about conflict: “If you are right you don’t need a defense and if you are wrong you don’t have one.”
This seems right in a world that often tries to cover wrong.